What’s an HRT ?? 🤔#

Let’s start with the basics, what is an HRT?, well… to put it simply… an HRT is an method to get the girl juices (or boy juices) into a human that doesn’t produce these juices, or inadequately, naturally.

Imagine a human as a clear bottle, a glass jar, if you fill it with blue boy juice you get a blue boy bottle; likewise, if you fill it with pink girl juice you get a pink girl bottle !!

I’ll take myself as an example, I was assigned-male-at-birth (AMAB), that means my body naturally produces a decent amount of testosterone (from now on I’ll represent that with just an uppercase T), and a negligible amount of estrogen (likewise now written as E). What this does is tell everything else in my body that I should be a man, so I get larger muscles, coarser skin, more even fat distribution, coarse body hair and male-pattern-baldness (among other things).

If I was to magic away the T and replace it for E, then I would slowly build a much more “feminine” body, my body hair would thin and smooth, my skin would smooth, my muscles would shrink, my fat distribution would focus more around the hips, waist, and butt while simultaneously travelling up more towards the outermost layers of the skin (this is what gives softer skin). I would also go through more extreme changes, since E would suppress T somewhat on it’s own, my testes would shrink as they’re put to sleep since my body doesn’t require them any more.

And also…

BOOBIES !!

I’d get a rack of my own 😆

Now, I’m not an expert in FtM (female-to-male, nor am I an expert in MtF), but as I’m sure you can imagine basically the opposite happens if you replace E for T. However there’s two big differences for FtM individuals:

I don’t think they loose breasts, as far as I know that has to be done surgically. I would (MtF) have to do the same if I wanted to detransition, as breasts are a permanent change.
FtM individuals don’t have to undergo voice training, their voice will naturally get deeper and more bass-y. Myself, MtF, will have to train my voice to be higher pitch and less bass-y.

See what I mean now by girl and boy juice ?? And humans just being empty glass bottles ?? Biology is actually amazing. Sometimes I wish I studied biology. Biology truly fascinates me.

That Sounds Great !! How Do I Get Some ?? 🤫#

That’s the neat part, you don’t 😉

Actually no, tell a lie, you very much can. Just have to pick your battles (these are UK-specific, so international readers, first off hello 👋, but your mileage may vary).

You get it through the NHS. This is typically free, but takes YEARS.
You get it privately. This can take as little as a week, but can get VERY EXPENSIVE, VERY QUICKLY.

Now then, I’m 17, and I want as much as I possibly can out of my transition. So it’s important I start ASAP, as the younger you are the more malleable your body is. A general rule of thumb is, the younger you start, the easier it is for you to “pass” (“passing” is a term, which I despise, of a trans individual being able to be visually identified as their preferred gender by complete strangers. For example, being Sir’d, or Ma’am’d, at a restaurant). I’m not saying older individuals don’t “pass”, but it is typically harder for them to do so since more of their body has developed and “solidified”.

So I want to start really quick, private then ??

Yes, I was going to go down this route. But…

I’m in a bit of turmoil in my life right now. From my previous posts you’ll know that I’ve basically upturned my whole plans for my whole life and career in the past 72 hours. So I want to hold on to as much cash as I can until I know what’s happening. Spending 1/3 on my money on this is a tough pill to swallow (no pun intended).

So what does one do ??

Let me present you THE THIRD OPTION…

DI, Why ?? 🤔#

Route 3, DIY HRT 🛠️🧬.

DIY-ing is a term, in the context of transgenderism, of “being your own boss” per-say. Doing the process without a doctor. You buy the medication you need yourself, privately, through whatever means. You calculate your doses, track your progress, monitor your blood, make appropriate adjustments all on your own.

This has many benefits, and MANY drawbacks.

Let’s Make Something LOUD & CLEAR. ⚠️#

I DO NOT CONDONE DIY HRT. Just because it’s the route I go, I do not recommend this route to ANYBODY. It is completely subjective as to what route you go down, you must be EXTREMELY INFORMED and INVOLVED in your transition to DIY. You MUST do your own research, build up a network of contacts, make sure what you’re taking is legit, and monitor your health DILIGENTLY.

I cannot stress this enough. If you DIY, you are putting yourself in potentially GRAVE DANGER ⚠️

I don’t even recommend DIY to myself, it’s just the option I’m most comfortable in doing. Not just because of cost, but politically as well. In an ideal world, I would have a TEAM of QUALIFIED EXPERTS monitoring my whole process, and sourcing PHARMACEUTICAL-GRADE medication for me.

Ok, Back to it… ✍️#

Benefits of DIY HRT include:

Cost: DIY HRT is typically far cheaper than private HRT.
Freedom: You’re your own doctor !! You can choose what medications you take, and in what form. Do you want E patches ?? Pills ?? Injections ?? Do you want progesterone (from hence forth referred to as P) ?? Do you want T-blockers ?? If so which one ?? You get ALL THE CHOICES with DIY HRT.
Privacy & Security: If you do it right, there can be no paper-trail of ordering your medication. Or you can at least make it very difficult to track. This is a big reason as to why I’m currently DIY-ing, as the global political opinion on transgenderism is incredibly volatile. I don’t want police knocking on my door one day to take me to the gulag because some bigoted politician decided my existence was illegal one day.
Transparency: This one is somewhat similar to Freedom, you know exactly what it is you’re taking (provided you do your own research), you know who manufactured it, and can gauge an idea of the lab environment. You know what your dosage is, and where it originated from. You actually learn quite a bit about pharmaceuticals from DIY-ing, I sure did.
Politics: This one varies a lot between people, but my own political views doesn’t align with how the NHS works (requiring years worth of admin work, tests, and sometimes therapy for other people to decide if what you want is actually what you want), leaving a permanent medical record of all of this, and the business model and concept of big-pharma. I guess I still support big-pharma, since I buy pharmaceutical-grade medication, but at least they don’t have any power over me and I could change my supply chain should I wish to.

And now SOME of the drawbacks:

Death: You could just die from DIY. If you don’t buy pharmaceutical-grade (“homebrewed”) formulations, then that manufacturer doesn’t have to comply to safety and quality laws. Thankfully most homebrewers are pretty alright, but you can just straight up flatline if you’re not careful choom. You could also seriously hurt yourself if you don’t administer your medication correctly, if you overdose, or don’t inject correctly. Make sure you’re proper clued up if you’re going to do this.
Scams: Depending on how you buy your medication, you could very easily get scammed. Especially if you pay with cryptocurrency, which is rather common for DIY HRT, since cryptocurrency is mostly unregulated and certain coins are impossible to trace (Monero, for example), they harbor scams and other naughtiness. Just be careful.
Delays: If you’re getting your titty skittles internationally, or even more-so your man meds as T is a controlled substance due to it’s performance-enhancing capabilities, these could get seized by customs and you could be left without HRT for an extended period of time; this can potentially be catastrophic for your transition. I recommend bulk-ordering if you’re going to DIY, and order a month or two in advance. Perhaps even consider keeping a reserve supply in case you do find yourself in a situation of delays.
Legal Action: In most jurisdictions, DIY HRT is not illegal as the medications involved aren’t controlled substances (apart from T, so be careful if you’re transmasc), but keep in mind HRT is a very politically volatile space. I haven’t heard of anyone getting in trouble for it personally, just do your due-diligence and don’t be funny with it. Personally, I wouldn’t supply other people with HRT, nor advertise or condone any specific vendor. Just take your meds and shut up 🥰.
Later Medical Complications: Some healthcare systems may get a bit funny if you later reveal to them you’ve been doing DIY HRT. I’ve heard the NHS doesn’t particularly favor it, and so I’ll be keeping DETAILED records of every pill I pop every day (date & time, dosage, oral or subdermal administering, and probably a photo of the box). I’ll keep invoices of orders, proof of payment, bank statements, etc. Everything that could possibly make the NHS’ time easier for me to be reintegrated in case I ever need to. Which I probably will, as I don’t plan to stay on DIY forever. And just be honest with these organizations, at the end of the day they are there to help you, they cannot do anything about what you’ve already done, and provided you haven’t broken any laws they can’t take any sort of action against you.

As you can see, DIY HRT is a very involved process, despite on the surface appearing to be the simplest. It’s absolutely not worth it, the extra cost incurred by private HRT is more than worth it. Again, I don’t really DIY for cost, it is a factor in my decision but it’s not the sole reason.

How Did I Get Some ?? 🛒#

Online is all I’ll say. It wasn’t too difficult to find, and I didn’t have to deal in cryptocurrency. I stayed away from homebrewers, and opted for pharmaceutical-grade medications.

I’ve gone for just E pills for now. No P or T-blockers for me yet. I’ll start T-blockers (specifically bicalutamide, which functions very differently than most other T-blockers as it doesn’t actually stop T production but rather suppresses the receptors, nullifying T’s effect on your body. Theoretically bicalutamide is safer to preserve fertility as it doesn’t hinder the testes at all, as I plan on getting my sperm frozen ASAP). P is mostly optional for transfemme individuals, some suggest it helps with breast development and a few other niche things about feminine development, but isn’t necessary as E will do all of these things to some capacity. It’s also worth noting that E will somewhat suppress T on it’s own, which is why I’ll need to get my sperm frozen ASAP.

Just E pills cost me £29.99 plus shipping, if I factor in T-blockers that’ll jump to around £55 as I’ll have to change suppliers. And P will raise the price to around £75. Therefore my monthly costs for HRT is just £75. With the odd blood test every now-and-then, the frequency of which will reduce over time, and a front-loaded buy-in to stockpile some in case of aforementioned delays, DIY HRT works out to be much cheaper than private services such as GenderGP.

GenderGP would charge £195 just to set-up, then a £30 flat-fee to maintain your account, then a variable amount for the medications, and further payments for blood tests, therapies, or other services.

Going private does make the process much easier though, as it provides routes to get referrals or other letters to aid your transition, such as a GRC (Gender Recognition Certificate to legally change your gender, although UK parliament doesn’t really care about these anymore, cheers Starmer 🖕).

Closing Thoughts 🧠#

By my estimations, I should get my titty skittles on Wednesday (27th), and there it begins. I’ll document my progress on this site once a month, and maybe even put up a photo every now and then.

I’m excited to be doing it DIY, it makes my transition feel more authentic, and something I can take more pride in. I can look at my progress, and my new body, and think that I made that, I made that happen, I designed that body. I’m not saying transgender individuals who do it through more-legit means are doing it wrong, or are “less trans”, that’s stupid, we’re all equally valid and should be equally proud in our courage and strength to go through with this process despite global views.

I’m not too sure how to navigate my social transition yet, my mum definitely suspects something as I shaved my arms yesterday which she’s seen. She’s making quite a big deal about it, telling my dad who doesn’t even live with us (not since I was 6) about it. Even though I have told her I was questioning my gender and asked her not to tell a soul about any of it, surely she could’ve suspected that shaving my body hair may have something to do with that ?? Doesn’t matter, I’ll tell them all one day soon anyway.

I don’t know where I’m going this September, college or university. If I get into university I’ll probably accelerate my social transition substantially as university is a much safer environment to do that in due to the higher maturity. Although I’m going back to my old college, in which the students were not the most open-minded individuals, I’m studying completely different courses and will be around the main site of the college, rather than the satellite engineering facility on the city outskirts. My partner spent her time in the main part of the college, and says they’re a lot more diverse there, so it may all turn out fine.

Thank you for your time reading this post, know that you’re amazing, you are loved, and I believe in you 💖💖💖

🧬 HRT Begins 🛠️